Let’s put an end to the mom-shaming!
Being a Mom is not that hard. Yep, I said it. But before you go and get your panties in a bunch, let me clarify and say, being a Mom is not that hard – what’s hard is the balance of being a Mom. Think about all the “chores” you do as a parent each and every day: make dinner, get the kids dressed and ready for school, laundry, cooking, driving to and from school, attend sporting events, change diapers, clean up toys, wash dishes, mop the floor, volunteer at bake sales, and all the other mundane tasks we as parents are required to do. Everything listed above is not hard. Frustrating? Yes. Time-consuming? Yes. Boring? Yes. But not hard. Take every item listed above and add adult chores: working, maintaining friendships, keeping your love life alive, spending time with your kids– heaven help you if you want to work out or take an uninterrupted shower –it’s nearly impossible to live a fulfilled life.
I have had the luxury of being a stay-at-home Mom my entire “Mommyhood” but the truth is that it hasn’t fulfilled me in all the ways I thought it would. Here I sit paying a babysitter $25 an hour simply so I can feel like a human and work on a passion project that does not include my kids. Can we all admit that the grass is greener in every scenario? As a stay-at-home-mom, I long for the days when I went to work and had adult conversations, could browse the internet, dress nicely, ate through working lunches, and used my brain in ways that didn’t involve how best to set up Legos. And then you talk to a working mom and they suffer from so much guilt that they would give their right foot to be at every sporting event, Mommy & Me class, pick-up at school, and to have a moment to look through a cookbook on how best to make beef stroganoff suitable for the entire family! Even when working moms choose to work, there is never enough time and choices still have to be made and guilt comes shining through.
If you looked at me last summer it seemed like my life was perfect: I have a beautiful house, healthy kids, happy marriage, successful husband. You could even go more surface-level – I have the top-of-the-line stroller, wear brand names, was able to throw the perfect shower and birthday party, and hosted play dates every week with a champagne bar. Yet, on the inside, I was suffering from so much anxiety that it induced depression so debilitating that I ended up in the hospital at UCLA psychiatry.
Ladies, we have to stop being so mean to each other. We have to stop overgeneralizing the other side. We have to stop with the “Well, if I had time to bake cookies, I’d do it more too” and “wouldn’t that be nice to have the nanny each morning so I can curl my hair.” Every person is simply trying to live their life so they don’t get swallowed by the Balance.
Can we all admit that the grass is always greener in every scenario? There is not one person you encounter every single day that isn’t fighting a battle. It doesn’t matter what it is, big or small; every single person is fighting something. We are living in an extraordinary time where women are bonding together through the “Times Up” and the “Me Too” movement, so why are we so quick to judge another mom? Let’s admit that being a Mom is not that hard; it’s the balance of being a woman that is hard. I say we bond together, quit the judgment, support one another, and lift women up wherever their passion lies.